Today at the vaccine clinic, a newly-vaccinated gentleman asked me:

Why don’t anteaters get sick?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because they’re full of anty bodies.

You’re all welcome.

I was volunteering in the clinic’s waiting area, where those who’ve already had their shots hang out for 15 minutes to be sure they aren’t having any severe reactions. (These reactions are extremely rare).

This meant my new friend and I had time to share quite a few more bad / awesome jokes before it was time for him to go.

Me
Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?
A: When the punchline becomes apparent.

Him
Q: Why was the scientist’s hair wet?
A: Because he had a brainstorm.

Me
Q: What do they call Darth Vader when he’s nervous?
A: Panickin’ Skywalker.

Him
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
A: An impasta.

Me
Q: What did the mama buffalo say to the baby buffalo on the first day of kindergarten?
A: Bye, son.

Him
Q: What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Me
Q: What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?
A: They were marooned.

All in all, a successful shift.

I’ve been volunteering at this clinic, in a non-medical role, since mid-February. During that time, I’d guesstimate that I played some small role-directing traffic, checking people in, verifying which vaccine they’re receiving, handing out information, telling bad jokes-in 1000 vaccinations, give or take.

So much has been beyond all our control this past year. But this is something concrete I can do, and I’m grateful to be able to do it.

Originally published at https://www.simner.com on April 6, 2021.

Author of the post-apocalyptic Bones of Faerie trilogy; Thief Eyes; more than 30 short stories; and the script for The Huntsman: Winter’s Curse video game.

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